Wank's World: Photographic Evidence That Marlins Fans Are the Worst

For years, I've wanted to somehow express using photographic evidence just how bad Joe Robbie/Pro Player/Sun Life Stadium truly is while simultaneously showing you just how bad Marlins fans are, too. Then, when Shane Victorino homered to tie the game, that photographic evidence fell right into my lap. Please view the photo I've attached with this post. Next, notice the following items:

A) There's not a single soul in those left-field seats. I'd imagine that the Marlins don't even try to sell them anymore.

B) There's a Spanish advertisement for Goya Beans. Now, I've got no problem with Goya, beans, and/or the Spanish language, but together the three just don't work well on the left-field wall of a Major League stadium.

C) The Phillies don't have to get a bunch of 70-year-old guys together on Saturday nights to get 14,000 people into their stadium. How exactly does this work, anyway?

Fan A: "Yo, wanna go to the Marlins game tonight? Josh Johnson is pitching and it's been like eight years, so we're like due to win the World Series again."

Fan B: "Are the Beach Boys playing?"

Fan A: "What? The Beach Boys? Why would they be playing? That doesn't even make sense."

Fan B: "Just check man. It's the only way I'm going."

Fan A: "Are you kidding me?"

Fan B: "Just check, bro."

Fan A: "Hold on. Uh ... yeah, they are actually. Yep. The Beach Boys WILL be there that night."

Fab B: "Oh, good. Now I'm in. For sure."

D) Is that a lime green 2012 Ford Fiesta? You bet your keister it is. New rule: Anytime a team can hit a ball off a 2012 lime green Ford Fiesta, then the team that claims said field as their home shall not win the World Series.

E.) It appears that there's not a single Marlins fan in that screen shot to the right. How does that even happen?

There you go—why the Marlins, their stadium, and their fans are ... not good. (This whole keeping it clean thing is getting tough.) And all it took was two screen grabs from last night's broadcast.