My Father's Rants - "Hunches"

Today I am 88.11232877 years old.  Wow!!  I'm ashamed of how little I've learned in all those years.  One thing I have learned, though, is that my hunches aren't very dependable.  I can't figure out why I keep having them given my lousy batting average.  But, I do keep having them.

For instance, when I was about nine years old, our country was in the midst of The Great Depression.  If you weren't there,  don't think you can imagine what it was like.  It was a very depressing depression.  Anyway,  there didn't seem to be any hope for any future.  

But my mother was a Sapp, and her mother was a Sapp, and her mother was a Sapp.  The Sapps were all Germans.  I was a member of RIVERSIDE TURNERS ["A sound mind in a sound body"] a German athletic club.  We were all loyal Americans,  but we had deep German roots and we kept abreast of what was going on in Germany.  As we were sinking into oblivion in the early 30's,  Germany was emerging from its own dark period under the charismatic leadership of a paperhanger named Adolf Hitler.  He was the great hope of the world at that time.  I had a strong hunch that he was going to save us all.  I'll bet you never had a hunch that bad!  

It would seem that that would cure me of having hunches!   But it didn't.  I kept right on having one hunch after another.  

For instance,  I have a hunch that we're missing something in the Anthony Weiner story.  Do you have a hunch like that?  I watch too many nature shows, I guess.  Have you noticed that in almost every species on earth the male has a ritual for getting the attention of females.  It varies greatly from species to species,  but the male always puts himself out there for approval.  It's in our DNA to do that!!  When the hormones kick in,  the male just does what he has to do.  The hormones blind us to consequences and other things.  It's nature itself at work.  

One thing I've always hated above everything else is the necktie.  Have you ever thought about the insanely stupid practice of wearing neckties?  As a professor at Glassboro State College,  I figured out a way around the expected necktie.  I was teaching a course in world religions.  It began with a long unit in Hinduism.  I put my toe in the anti-necktie puddle by having Mae find a Nehru shirt for me.  I loved it!  And, I GOT AWAY WITH IT!  No one seemed to mind!  Then, I slowly slid sideways into a cheap W. T. Grant sweatshirt.  When I noticed that there were no ripples,  I mutated slowly into a flannel shirt and sweater.  Sorry, I digress.

But, have you ever thought about neckties?  What are they all about anyway?  Have you ever pondered over one?  Did you slowly begin to blush and feel embarrassed?  Did you know it was was the French who started the necktie thing?  Are the pieces starting to come together?  No?  How about this?  Did you know it was Louis IV that started the whole thing?  Now you're getting it!  Slowly you're getting it.

Those who were not inclined to the phallic shape chose the bowtie didn't they?  
Ponder that till you grow a grin.

The point is that male homo sapiens are not that different from less evolved creatures after all, are they?  What started me thinking about all of this crazy stuff was a parade of wild turkeys that sauntered past our patio doors yesterday.  Old Tom was really designed to impress those females!  Males at every stage of evolution seem to be designed to get noticed.

I do wish that Anthony had stayed with neckties.  I like Anthony.  I hope he becomes mayor.  I wish people were not so prudish and judgmental.  "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone."

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Do you realize that Pope Francis made history last week?
Let's all memorize and chant those five famous words.

Who am I to judge?

If the Pope can ask this, we all should be able to ask it.

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