The Radical's Blog: Only Nixon Could Go to China

I write these blogs for a number of different reasons. Sometimes I blog because a political story needs to be told. Sometimes I blog because it is therapeutic and writing helps be work through issues. Sometimes I blog because there is something important I need to say. This blog is about how someone was able to open my eyes and get me to embrace something which I had made fun of for years.

This blog is my best recreation of the story, with a little Radical embellishment and relevance to local politics thrown in.

Ms. Radical and I were at a local establishment celebrating a friend's birthday.  I would normally call it a "bar" but apparently exercising the 21st amendment to the US constitution is not something respectable bloggers write about. I am not mentioning the friend's or the bar's name to protect the guilty and because they are both irrelevant to the story.

From a young age, I always had a sober driver when a group of us went out and this night it was Ms. Radical’s turn to be the responsible one. She was having a great time laughing along with us even though she was too sober to truly appreciate the humor of the birthday boy sticking straws in his nose. When the room became slightly hushed I heard a refrain from the jukebox I had not heard since my college days, "We may be through but you'll never hear me complain…" By pure instinct I blurted out in a hazy, raspy, not-had-my-lemon-after-taking-the-shot voice, "I got a friend in lowwww places, where the whiskey drowns my I don't remember the words... Ohhhh OOOOAAASSISSSS… …cause I got a friend in low places" to the standing ovation of anyone within earshot as I leaned back, managing to keep myself from falling off the stool. When that old Garth Brooks song ended I stood up and curtsied to the still-applauding crowd who by now had joined in singing chorus with me.

I made a comment that the song brought back a lot of good college memories and I had to get a copy of it. The smiling Ms. Radical who was laughing at my acrobatics turned stone silent, tapping her index finger on the table, "We *have* that album, dear." For those of you who have ever been married or are glad you no longer are, you know that look and the emphasis she placed on "have" and the fake smile as she gritted "dear" through her teeth. The ability to be Mary Poppins until their man says something stupid then turn into Darth Vader seems to be a hard-wired gift all women seem to possess. Apparently, I had ripped all of "my" CDs into MP3s, and only a handful of hers, leaving her country CDs untouched.  She made it clear we would be “discussing the matter later,” then like a switch turned back on her charm and began making fun of my balancing skills. In my tequila-inspired state, I forgot about the little incident and continued with the night.

Until the next morning when I awoke to find she had placed her music collection next to the computer.  Since I came into this relationship pre-trained on the unwritten rules of living with a woman, I gladly accepted the cup of coffee she made and got started on my task for the day thankful she forced me to drink three glasses of water before going to bed. When I rip music, I generally have the MP3 version playing so I can make sure there were no problems. When I got to the Garth Brooks CD with my old college drinking song, she told me to take a deep breath and listen to what he was saying on the other songs. With nothing better to do that day I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the words. The gibberish that was most country music to me suddenly became clear.  I "got" it.  By the time I heard the fifth song on the album, I actually asked her if she had any other albums of his. Since then I have added other country singers to my playlists and am now open to the genre in a way I was not able to previously.  This led to the Wawa song to Toby Keith earlier this year. Ms Radical was able to do what no one else had been able to.  As the ancient Vulcan proverb goes, "Only Nixon could go to China." She got me to listen—want to listen—to country music without cracking a joke or wanting to gouge out my ear drums.

The events of this story happened some time ago, but the lesson is as important today as it was those many months ago when it happened. Under the veneer of alcohol and country music, this was an example of what Steven Covey referred to as a paradigm shift. It is what one of my former employers called gaining perspective. It is what my grandmother tried to teach us about seeing an issue from the other side. One's perspective on someone does shape how you see their actions or their work just as much as your background does.

In this time of heightened tension between the good government folks and the political party, having the ability to take a deep breath and truly listen to what the other side is saying is important.  As adults, we cannot lock ourselves in our separate emotional towers, refusing to listen to what the other side is really saying, not hearing what you think they are saying. It is time that we take off the filters that cloud our ability to hear.  It is time for a paradigm shift.  If the Radical Blogger of all people can become a fan of country music then certainly our political leaders can listen to what the reformers are saying instead of just hearing noise and Charlie Brown's teacher.

When people raise issues and problems to the government, it is not about partisan politics. It is about correcting very real and serious deficiencies in our government. If Nixon could go to China, if Ms. Radical can get me to listen to country, then surely our government can listen to the people.