I’d like to take this opportunity to explain Pay-to-Play in Gloucester Township and, to make it slightly entertaining, I will present it in the form of a classical Greek Tragedy. Additionally, the names have not been changed in order to more easily identify the guilty.
(ring-ring) “Hello?”
“Good morning; Remington and Vernick for Mayor-Mayor."
Find out what's happening in Gloucester Townshipwith free, real-time updates from Patch.
“I’m sorry, did you mean Mayor Mayer? “
“Yes, that’s what I said, Mayor-Mayor?”
Find out what's happening in Gloucester Townshipwith free, real-time updates from Patch.
“You mean, Mr. Mayer?”
“Exactly, Mr. Mayor-Mayor.”
“Hmmmm, well, hold on, I think I know who you want and I’ll see if he’s in.”
(muffled sounds in background as hand is held over phone)
(click) “Hello, how may I help you?”
“Hello, Mayor-Mayor, this is Remington.”
“Remington? Hmmm, I’m not sure we can do any business, Mr. Remington; we have pretty strict gun control laws in this town.”
“No, not that Remington… Remington, from Remington and Vernick.”
“Oh, I see, well, how can I help you this morning?”
“Well, Mayor-Mayor, I called this morning to remind you of our arrange…er-ahhh, I mean to congratulate you on your recent electoral victory.”
“Oh yes, thank you. We couldn’t have done it without help from all the township contractors who willingly and voluntarily contributed to our campaign in anticipation of cashing in on some of the more lucrative no-bid contracts we then award to our friends. Oh shoot, did I just say that out loud? Anyway, it’s a good thing those Republicans didn’t beat us…can you imagine the disappointment if they had won and we were not able to thank all our contributors sufficiently? The Repubs keep complaining about Pay-to-Play reform but I don’t think we need to reform anything; Pay-to-Play worked just fine.”
“Oh yeah, I get it Mayor-Mayor; in fact, we were just clobbered in Medford for making illegal campaign contributions and now we can’t bid there for four years. So, we are actually looking for opportunities to make up for such losses in revenue and that’s why I’m calling you today. I wanted to remind you that we were your largest contributor during your most recent campaign.”
“What did you say your name was again? Could I possibly interest you in making a campaign contribution towards our next election effort?”
“Mayor-Mayor, let me remind you that we freely and voluntarily contributed $20,800 dollars directly to your campaign and another $43,200 dollars through political action committees that ultimately filled your war-chest with $64,000 to spread around at your discretion. But, it was all done willingly.”
“Well, I wonder why I never heard about such a generous contribution (wink-wink). Anyway, I’m not sure why we are having this conversation.”
“Again, Mayor-Mayor, I just wanted to remind you of our support for your efforts to make Gloucester Township a big pay-off to all those willing to play the game…so to speak. And when it comes to playing the game, we play hard and fast, and better than anybody.”
“Hmmmm…”
“Finally, Mr. Mayor-Mayor, I wanted to assure you that we do not expect any special treatment for the exorbitant amount of money we funneled your way and that you need not worry that such free-will and voluntary contributions might hurt our bottom line thus sidelining us in the next election. As long as our willingness to participate continues to guarantee our position as township engineer thus giving us access to millions of dollars of tax-payer money in the way of no-bid contracts, we’re happy as pigs in… Well, anyway, you have a good day, Mayor-Mayor, and I’m sure we will talk again.”
“I’m sorry, what did you say your name was again. I have such a hard time keeping track of all of our friends and I like to keep a list that way everyone has an equal opportunity to sponsor one of our free barbeques that we use to dumb-down the taxpayers of Gloucester Township.”
“Remington, Mr. Mayor-Mayor, and not the gun company. Good day.” (click)
Well, by now I guess you’ve discovered this is not a Greek Tragedy. In fact the only tragedy here is the way our political operatives conduct business in this town and tell us that it’s all on the up and up. Essentially, money talks and everyone else can walk and this is what you keep voting for…for instance, pre-election promises of 0% tax increases only to be clobbered with a post-election 8.2% property tax increase. Don’t worry, there’s more of this kind of chicanery coming your way…that you can count on.
