Alleged Drunken Drive-Thru, Massage Parlor Busts Top Weird Crime News

Each week, Patch combs through the more shocking, surprising and often absurd alleged criminal acts and police-related incidents that unfold around the region. Here’s what went on last week for “OMG PD.”

Poaching with pooches: A Marlton dog-walker wasn’t just taking pups for a stroll, according to Evesham Township Police. Jewelry also had a way of walking off with Kyle E. Zimniuch, 22, who has been charged with stealing $600 worth from a client, police said.

You’ve got scams: The top three signs the guys trying to fix your computer aren’t on the up-and-up: One—they claim to be from a major company, but they called you. Two—they tell you they’re from “Microsoft Windows.” Three—they install malware and your machine and try to scam you out of cash.

You want fries with that crash? A California man found an alternative parking spot at the Wendy’s in West Deptford—on top of another car. As it turns out, though, parking on another car while under the influence of alcohol, as police said David R. Weir was, is generally frowned upon.

More than massages: Another week, another alleged brothel run out of a massage parlor. This time, it was Mount Laurel Police breaking up the alleged prostitution ring; they charged Young Ok Park, of Flushing, NY, for engaging in prostitution in connection with the bust.

Actually, make that a two-fer: Haddon Township police also got their chance to bust an alleged house of prostitution—and if you guessed they said it was being run out of a massage parlor, you’d be right. From what a neighbor says——it’s hard to imagine there was ever much legit massage going on.

Be thankful for those nosy neighbors: One alert Collingswood resident spotted something weird going next door—a man allegedly trying to get in through a window. A quick call to police led to the arrest of Thomas Helvig, who was charged with attempted burglary.