Suspect Not Spritely Enough with Soda Weapon

Each week, Patch combs through the more shocking, surprising and often absurd alleged criminal acts and police-related incidents that unfold throughout New Jersey. Here’s what went on this week for “OMGs from NJ PD.”

Opening a Can of … Well, You Know: This guy lost the Pepsi challenge, big time. Stephen Bumgardner, 53, of Freehold, reportedly decided it would be a at a uniformed Freehold Borough officer conducting an investigation at a local liquor store. The carbonated catapult cost Bumgardner $2,500 in bail and at stay at the Monmouth County Correctional Institution, where, presumably, he was not given change for the soda machine.

Creature of Criminal Habit: People celebrate anniversaries for all sorts of things, so why not your one-year release date from jail? Sounds great, until you celebrate by allegedly breaking the law again. Williamstown’s Clifton Curtis Thornton, 27, found himself on familiar ground, he was released from jail on similar charges. Thornton reportedly took this creature of habit trait a step further by burglarizing several homes in the area over multiple days—wearing the same outfit.

Ice Cream Caper: West Deptford Police report a woman had everything she needed for a wonderful ice cream party—except the decency to pay for it. Police arrested the unnamed woman as she tried to make off with a . No word on how she planned to eat all that ice cream before it melted without a massive brain freeze.

Shore to Show Up Here: Technically, this isn’t police news—yet. But call us Jersey Shore optimists that any home occupied by orange-hued reality “stars” Snooki and JWoww will eventually produce an OMG-worthy police story. Snooki and JWoww (née Nicole Polizzi and Jenni Farley, respectively) recently moved into a Manchester home . The cynic in us agrees with the commenters: when the ratings go down, the shenanigans are sure to go up. We expect to see you soon, ladies. Love, OMGs from NJ PD.